An Issue of Entitlement

It’s not often online comments get my dander up. But one thing certain to bring out the Keyboard Warrior in me is an insult to a band I like. Especially if said insult is from a “fan”.

“It’s ironic how most other bands signed?! lol Do they “think” they are too good to sign & meet people?! My daughter was the first person in line for the wristbands, and then heard they weren’t signing that day was a big disappointment! Shame on bvb!”

I went to Warped Tour, the Indianapolis date, and on that day Black Veil Brides didn’t have a signing. They’ve been doing signings almost every day of the tour so I, with my friend, had a moment of disappointment. Just as quickly though, we were over it. I didn’t think any more of it during the twelve hour festival and had a great time scouring the venue for new music and hanging out with my friend.

Two days ago, Black Veil Brides posted a picture on Instagram advertising the signing they were doing for the Buffalo, NY (I believe) date. What brought me up short, of course, were the comments. 50+ comments of, “You better do a signing at_____.”

What is this?

The first band I was heavily into was Linkin Park. I saw them four or five times and never met them. I transitioned from Linkin Park almost straight into Avenged Sevenfold. Now, Avenged Sevenfold are my Ride or Die. If they announce tomorrow that they’re going to invade Canada, I will be there. I’ve seen them a dozen times; I’ve driven across the country to see them.

I’ve never met them.

I’ve never gotten a pick or a drum stick or a towel or a water bottle. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

But I’ve never left a concert disappointed that I didn’t get face time with them. I’ve never been indignant that they didn’t do a meet n’ greet or a signing or anything else. They’re musicians. You bought the ticket to see the show, not to shake their hands. Side note: I have given Synyster Gates a high five while he was on stage.

But I digress.

Black Veil Brides do a lot of signings, they go above and beyond to meet their fans and interact with them. But that doesn’t give you the right to be angry, to accuse them of being arrogant, because they didn’t do a signing at your tour stop. They don’t have to do any signings. They choose to and should their schedule conflict with doing a signing or something comes up and they can’t do it, get over it. The only thing they are obligated to give you is a show, everything else is bonus material.

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The Sound of Madness: We All Fall Down

“Everybody feels these moments of sadness and moments of loss. And sometimes I think everybody can relate to sitting alone and feeling like crap and a friend of yours comes up and starts, you know, “Come on, feel happy!” And you don’t want that. Sometimes it’s all right to let yourself live in a moment and let yourself be upset about something and so that you can show yourself that, regardless of how low you feel, you can always rise out of it; but not at that moment. And so the song ends with the lyric I believe we all fall down but I don’t say, “But we get back up.” It’s just, sometimes you fall down and sometimes you feel low, and that’s okay.” ~ Andy Biersack, (Video)

I was one of many who saw Black Veil Brides’ Legion of the Black back in January and I knew as soon as this song started it was going to be one of my favorites. It was back in January that the only thing I was looking forward to in my life was the release of Wretched and Divine: The Story of the Wild Ones album and the concert in Cleveland on the 22nd. My first manuscript, Tiger, Tiger was sitting untouched on my hard drive, I hadn’t read anything in weeks—which as a self-professed bibliophile is unheard of—and I was having a hard time even getting up in the morning.

Then, in March, I quit my job. And I was happy for a couple weeks. I finished Tiger, Tiger and started getting serious about querying and started writing again and started looking for a part time job I would be happier doing. The rainbows and sunshine didn’t last long. I hadn’t really intended to quit my job until the first weekend in May and didn’t have the money saved up that I needed/wanted.

Be absolutely honest, my mindset the last two weeks has been no better than it was when I was slogging my way through a dead end job I hated. I’m angry, I’m depressed, my moods are in flux. I wake up in the morning and I want to scratch my skin off and start somewhere new. I need a job and I know I can get hired on in a restaurant no problem. But I don’t want to go back to something that pushed me so close to the abyss of No Return I almost fell in. But if nothing else pans out here in the next two weeks I’ll have to go back to the thing that almost killed me.

            “Lost it All” gets me on a damn near spiritual level.

I ruled the world. With these hands I shook the heavens to the ground.

I laid the gods to rest. I held the key to the kingdom, lions guarding castle walls.

Hail the king, of death.

 

Then I lost it all.

I’m dead and broken.

My back’s against the wall. Cut me open.

I’m just trying to breathe, just trying to figure it out.

Because I built these walls just to watch them crumbling down.

I said then I Lost it All.

And who can save me now?

 

I stood above

another war, another jewel upon the crown.

I was the fear of men.

But I was blind, I couldn’t see the world there right in front of me.

But now…I can.

 

‘Cause I Lost it All

Dead and broken.

My back’s against the wall.

Cut me open.

I’m just trying to breathe, just trying to figure it out.

Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.

I said then I Lost it All

and who can save me now?

 

I believe that we all fall down, sometimes.

Can’t you see that we all fall down?

I believe that we all fall down sometimes.

 

            Here’s a Link to the song.

This is the song that sits with me when I feel overwhelmed by everything and when it all seems out of reach. This song tells me to take a breath, stop scrambling, stop panicking. Just breathe. This song is my safe place.

It’s also the song my character in Rebel Love Song is modeled after. She falls a little more every day. Without the plucky “but we’ll try it again tomorrow” sentiment at the end of the song it leaves her open for a gauntlet of decisions. She’s low, slipping deeper inside herself, and there’s the question of whether or not she’s going to give this song a hopeful ending or if she’s going to lose herself. Who can save me now?